in honor of the boy.
sixteen years ago this morning, i stood in a hallway in cedars-sinai hospital in beverly hills until it was time for me to enter the operating room (his was a scheduled c-section delivery). i was so sure that i was going to have a son the entire pregnancy, but all of a sudden, a thought hit me; what if it's a girl? more appropriately, what if it was a girl, and i'd spent 9 months mentally planning for a son? how uncool would that be to this little girl if i hesitated for just a moment at her birth and thought "oh! ...it's a girl!" i instantly snapped to it and got very excited over the prospect of a daughter. yes, i was going to have a daughter named scarlett (long before ms. johansen begun her movie career), and i couldn't wait.
i stood in the hall, looking out the window at the los angeles hard rock cafe, where there was a sign on the building that read "world population now" and it had numbers running up by the second. i thought that was kinda neat and it was something i oddly felt a part of. yeah, i know, it's a little odd; i was twenty, for god's sake. the fact that i was still alive after what i've done to myself was a miracle in itself.
anyone who knows me knows that i have a son, who is 16 years old today. this has been the first birthday of his that has really hit me from a wonderment kind of angle. i know that i didn't go through as much reflection at his 1st, 5th, 10th birthdays. perhaps it's because i remember his age so well. i wonder if 16 year old sully and he would have been friends. i think if anything, i'd be contributing to his delinquency. :)
he and i have been through a lot together, and i couldn't be prouder of him. he's a well mannered boy who's kind to others, has a good sense of humor, and is a pretty smart kid (he may be graduating HS a year early). yeah, there have been ups and downs, but there have been way more good times than bad. i'm a very fortunate person, to say the least.
